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1. I am afraid that everything I enjoy now is a phase, just like my parents said it was.
They are wonderful, wonderful people, sure.
But I strive to prove them wrong, at least once.

I am just another stupid teenager.

2. I wish the O'Reilly Factor would get cancelled. I seriously think I will start praying for it.
That asshole doesn't deserve a show.

Posting this now because A) I've been neglecting it, B) I won't be able to do it for a few weeks. I'm thinking of pushing this to once a month, but I gotta talk to the other mods first.

Happy Holidays everyone. Let's go Pens! \o/

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Alright, on with the post!

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Comment here with either:

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HELPFUL LINKS:
Panic FBR Webstore ~ panicatthedisco.com Webstore ~ Clothing Size Chart

My boyfriend found this image from a 1929 issue of Parents magazine! The magazine recommends putting it on your child's nursery wall; frankly I think it looks a little sinister:



So he decided to update it for the new millenium, and I picked through my blanks to find some laughing cats (with varying degrees of sinisterness) for him to use.

( By our powers combined-- Ha! Ha! Ha! It must be so! )

I'm terribly afraid of pushing the people I care about away from me, but right now I don't care. Well, I do, but it's about time I told this person the truth.
Secret: it's all just a cry for attention.

The show House MD dictates so much of my life: 
**I won't take any class or join any club that meets at all during 8-9 pm on Mondays.
**Though I had other reasons, it was a big inspiration in my (now abandoned) goal of being a doctor.
**Therapy couldn't get me to renounce suicide as an option, but re-watching a particular episode from season five did in an instant. 
...and it makes me feel more than a little pathetic. 

1. It's a hickey. Get over it.

2. I'm tired of being the taxi for my friends.

3. I hate my birthday. What I hate more is that everyone expects me to be super excited about turning another year older. Woot?

4. It's a birthday and yes I may have a small fear of getting older but I just don't give a shit.

5. My friend slept over last night. We are really close. While she was a sleep she started to spoon me. I didn't want to move because I didn't want to scare her. It was super awkward and nice at the same time.

6. Apparently I made out with ______ two years ago before she was sent away. I forgot about it but when she brought it back up again my face turned super red. Right there and then I wanted to make out with her hard core. *sigh* being a loyal girlfriend is hard some times.

7. He spilled beer on my hair(on purpose). Instead of getting really pissed off I got really happy..........is that weird?

8. I was hanging out with some old friends and I haven't been so happy in so long. It makes me sick knowing it's possible for me to be this happy.

9. I am not excited for Christmas this year. I know it will be boring!

10. I am obsessed with this song "I like that" shhhhhhhh

11. I made food and I don't want to eat it anymore.

  - I honestly can't stand my family. The past 2 years of independence were the best time of my life...now that i'm back home, everyday i tell myself i want out of this damn house and back to Houston. I love my family very much, but i can no longer live with them, its always that feeling i've had even when i was young. Once i get out....i'm never going to come back.

 - I found the girl i will always love no matter what she says or does. Even if i end up being with someone else, i know i can never give anyone the love i will always have for her because i will still love her. i'm trying  and still keep on trying to win her love back....honest to god, i want to spend my life with her. I would do ANYTHING for her.

 - My mum, i love her from the bottom of my heart. Yet, I could never forgive her for all the things she promised me. All end up being broken, and i'm stuck with this large amount of debt....moved back home because i really thought she could help me out...nothing but lies coming out her mouth!!!!

 - I miss her the most, she's a really huge part of my life.

 - I think about ways to end my life cause things were not going right for me. plus i think i will die at an early age.

 - My mind is oftentimes a sex movie...everything i look at...i can imagine people having sex in the spot.

 

I'm home and my dad makes me cream of wheat for breakfast everyday... lol I really do appreciate it but, Dad, I want to make my own breakfast! I like to cook and I'd totally hook it up. Maybe I should just wake up early enough to make breakfast for us but I like sleeping til noon.

I feel like I should be jealous of them, but I'm not.

One is older than me. She has a girlfriend who she moved halfway across America to be with, to escape her abusive parents. She couldn't imagine leaving her side and it breaks her heart to imagine her leaving.

The other is younger. She too has a girlfriend who she stood up to her parents for, and to her girlfriend's parents. They've been together for months and have this adorable young love between them.

I'm not jealous. I'm really not. I'm sad and single and totally not jealous and I mean that.

I just fear for the day that either of them gets their heart broken because I love them too much for them to be unhappy.

Everyday, I go to craigslist.com and click on "missed connections" hoping that someone will write about me.

i came across this on tumblr and i don't think it's been posted? go watch brendon and spencer say fuck a lot and kind of talk about JB


video

I'm always looking for something to define me.
I will never be happy with who I am.

sometimes i'm too embarrassed to talk to people about the music i like.
i don't like telling people the artists, because most of the time they have never heard of them.
i know you're asking, and you most likely really want to know, but when you stare at me like i've just grown a second head i wish i had never told you in the first place! i don't want to lie, but i don't want to tell the truth. so i guess i'll stick with saying nothing at all...

i really, really like instrumental music.
i feel like it's the best music to wake you up, and essentially put you to sleep. it's the best music to zone out with, and the best music to concentrate with.

music accompanied with words, i believe, tells you what to think. solely instrumental gives you a direction and tells you how to think.
...something like that.

ps - (i think) i miss him?

we started talking about the past yesterday, something you should never talk about in new relationships.
i told you good night, and you asked me what was wrong, and i replied "it's something we shouldn't talk about. it's in the past,"
because i didn't want it to turn into an argument.

but what i really wanted to say was "in the time we were apart, i might have hooked up with three different guys that meant nothing, but you fell in love with another girl. and that hurts more than anything."

I'm bi and have a boyfriend who I have remained loyal to.
I've only just started talking to this sweet bi gothic girl who used to go to my school yestrday, and I could see myself happy with her.
I can't break his heart though. I love him so much.
I just don't know if it should be a friendship or not.
I shouldn't break up with someone I love to go out with a potential love, right?
Then how come everything in me is telling me to keep talking to her.